Losing A Friend

It all started in the 3rd grade where I met my best friends, Rebecca Garcia and Kathleen Contreras. We did everything together, we were called the three Musketeers by our parents and it WAS true. We WERE inseparable. I have many memories I will never forget, putting make-up on my mom and her best friend, going exploring outside with Becca to find bones, tipping Kathleen's little brother upside down in his Fischer price car, and all of Kathleen's birthday parties with the big jumpers. Those were always the best, we always deflated them and let the the whole think sink while we were in it.
Those WERE the good days, when we all got along still. Then finally we started high school...we all changed into different people. I don't know how it happened, but we all stopped talking to each other. Becca was always with her boy friend. I was to but I always made sure I could be with my friends as well. Kathleen was all over the place, that's a whole different story, but eventually me and Kathleen rarely ever talked to Becca and it was sad. We really missed her. It was just....me...and Kat. She was my best friend. She is the only person I can tell absolutely everything to, my shoulder to cry on. There's really no one else I can go to like that except for her.
Things got even more complicated, Kathleen had a baby. Josue<3 He was the happiest baby I have ever seen. I even watched him come out of Kathleen, I held her leg for 2 & a half hours and I would rather be there than anywhere else in the world at that moment. Who wouldn't love to be there while their best friend had a Baby. I was even going to be Josue's Nina, but everything is so weird now... and I HATE IT! :'(
I would like to have my best friends back, I never see Kathleen anymore and rarely even say hi to Becca. High school really does change everything. It seems now Kathleen has her self a new best friend. I hate that, it hurts so bad, but I'm not going to show it. No one really knows how depressed inside that my best friend has a new best friend. She spends every day with her and I have even asked to chill with her, but I don't think we will because she will be with her. I guess Kathleen's found her son a new god mother. Fuck it.



I give up...

Anonymous

Dear anonymous,
Who are you? You become someone new, and I'm not sure who you are anymore. I think you have confidence and cockiness mixed up. Get over yourself.

<3 Shannon

Vallejo, With my dad.

It's Friday night, and I am with my dad in Vallejo. Not something I usually do on a weekend. I guess It's time for a change. Ive never had a father daughter relationship because most of my life he wasn't there. Honestly I don't think I can start to grow one with my dad. I think it's just a little too late for that, but it's worth a try.....Again. All my life all I ever wanted was my dad to be there for me, and show me what it feels like to be loved by a real man. To tell me it would be okay & everything would be alright when I knew nothing was.

For about 18 years I haven't had a father figure in my life, and i have grown quite use to it. My mom has been my father and mother. She's done everything for me. Maybe it was because my dad was always an alcoholic, doing drugs, and always payed more attention to all his girl friends than he did to me. He's changed now, almost 2 years clean and I love it. He's healthier, stronger, happier and most of all he's finally trying to be my dad again. :)

18 years i have waited for this, I have grown in so many ways because of this and i can't imagine other wise. Who knows what i would be like, or if i would be the same Shannon.